My husband and I are taking solo vacations to keep our marriage happy

  • Taking time from each other allows us to explore our individual interests.
  • We are also better parents because we come home recharged and ready to take care of the children.
  • Traveling alone does not mean that we do not love each other, it is quite the opposite.

On my last vacation, a weeklong getaway to Carolina Beach, NC, I traveled light, leaving everything that wasn’t essential at home. For the purposes of this trip, this included my husband.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife, but at least once a year we each pack our bags for a well-deserved solo stay. I do not ski and he is an avid skier. He hates all-inclusives and I’m all for doing nothing on a beach, covered with a towel, a paperback in my hand.

Instead of overthinking how we should make these trips work together, we just accept that we need to spend time apart. This has become even more relevant with a toddler and a one year old toddler to care for.

Family vacations are exhausting

Our family vacations, filled with laughter and love, are often anything but relaxing. The two children are inevitably in our bed early in the morning begging us to get up and play, which is impossible to ignore, as anyone with small children knows.

Having a little time each year to sleep and relax makes us both more present in our lives and in the lives of our children. Much more patient as I repeatedly pick up hundreds of Hot Wheels or soothe another tantrum caused by you-can’t-eat-chocolate-for-dinner knowing I’ll finish. by having real time for myself.

Regardless of how chaotic life gets, we never allow ourselves to postpone our essential absence, happy to share the details while we plan our separate trips. And it’s more than a little sexy to watch my husband model some new gear for his next winter adventure while I get my SPF 50 and beach readings ready.

When we are away we look forward to our daily Facetime calls, eager to see how happy and stress free the other is.

We like to enjoy life separately

“Don’t you mind he’s having so much fun without you?” A colleague asked me when I mentioned our arrangement. I answered a bit in shock, to be honest. “Why? Aren’t you allowed to have fun unless you’re with your partner?”

At the height of the pandemic, we put all travel plans on hold, reassuring each other that we would eventually go back to our routine resets. We kept the hope alive by constantly telling each other details about where we wanted to go next.

Hearing my husband talk about snowboarding in Aspen almost made me wish I would come with me. And maybe once I will. As the kids get older one of them is bound to inherit their love of outdoor sports and it would be fun to see my husband and kids in action on the slopes.

But I want us to always have that space in our relationship to enjoy life separately. It doesn’t mean that we love each other less. In fact, we love each other so much that we want the other person to have the chance to do whatever they love, while we keep encouraging them.

The time we allow ourselves to devote to being selfish and forgiving provides a real recharge, making us better partners and parents.

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